*Ahem* I Have A Man Crush......

OK! On that embarrasingly awkward note, I begin my next post, again dealing with sports with a twist. It will be specifically about my Atlanta Braves but I feel I have to explain myself rather quickly or else respect for me may take a nose dive (if I have had any of your respect to begin with.)

I have heard the phrase "man crush" for quite some time. I have even used it in times past, which I'll talk about in a second. But I never truly looked up what the "real world" definition for a man crush until tonight, in preparation for the defense of my sexuality. So I went to Urban Dictionary, because of it's outstanding credible, reliable definitions (enter sarcasm here-->_) on 21st century phraseology, to look up how they defined "man-crush".

Here is their definition:

When a straight man has a "crush" on another man, not sexual but kind of idolizing him. A man who has a crush on another man without sexual attraction.

This should dispel all doubts and insults as to whether or not I am a man, a hetero man to be specific.... stop snickering.

*On a side note, I thought the example sentences Urban Dictionary used to further elaborate on the definition of "man crush". Check these out:

1) Many straight men end up having man crushes on Johnny Depp (I don't blame them).<-Urban Dictionary put that in.
2) "Hey, Ted. I heard you spent the night over at Dave's." "Yeah, we played twister and scrabble and watched movies, and spent all night talking, bizzatch." "Dude, you're 35, acting like you're 12, and you're using his language. You've got a man crush."

Those sentences, to me, were hilarious. And what does the word "bizzatch" mean? And why does Urban Dictionary seem to assume the majority of straight guys have a man crush on freaky Johnny Depp?

But to get on with my post, and in disagreement with Urban Dictionary's assessment that many straight men have man crushes on Johnny Depp, I declare who my man crush is. (And no, I did not recently step out of a closet.)

It used to be Mike Rowe, and how could you blame me? The guy makes a ton of cash doing some of the most hilarious ad-libs on t.v. in describing the world's dirtiest jobs. And I know every woman would love for him to clean their pipes if given the opportunity.....plumbing pipes people! Come on! That, and he is a decent-looking man...doh! Remember the definition BJ, "a crush without sexual attraction."

Former Man Crush

My newest man crush is Major League Baseball's #1 prospect. People are comparing the sound the ball makes off his crushing bat to the sound Willie McCovey, Willie Mays, and Hank Aaron made when they hit a ball. He is 6'5 (6'6 with cleats), 245 pounds, a left-hand hitter, right fielder who can steal bases, has great plate discipline (he doesn't strike out), has incredible hitting power and is baseball smart and always alert on the field. In addition to all these attributes, he carries himself well on and off-camera. He might just cure cancer, solve world hunger, and eventually be the President of the United States, after accepting his Hall-of-Fame induction after next season.

Add to all of this the fact that he is property of my Atlanta Braves.

The hype around this guy is amazing. At only age 20, baseball scouts, sports writers and Hall-of-Famers have flocked to ESPN's Wide World of Sports Complex, where the Braves hold their Spring Training, just to see him at batting practice. He has already dented a Coke truck, shattered the sunroof glass of the Braves Vice-President's car ($3,500 quoted repair), and has caused that a special net be installed and used when he has batting practice to protect the other cars in the area. The expectations and buzz around him is something I've never witnessed before, even more so considering I live in Atlanta.

In my free time at work, I have followed the two Spring Training games he's been in and in 6 plate appearances, he has a single, an RBI double, three walks, and a mortal pop out to the infield (a slight anomaly I'm sure.) He also has a stolen base and has advanced three times to an extra base by being alert to the opposing team's fielding errors. He......is.......a......Stud.

Whenever I have the money to pay for it, I will be getting his jersey, even though he has yet to officially make the team and receive a Major League number (another anomaly to be corrected soon.) He is just another reason why I hope to make Turner Field my "home away from home" for the 2010 baseball season.

I promise all of you I am very much hetero. Every guy is allowed one man crush at a time (more than one at any given time DOES mean your gay) and I challenge all you guys out there reading this blog to post who your man crush is, if you dare. If you don't, you will be considered a sissy in my book......or very smart, thus avoiding the scorn and ridicule of the rest of the world. Not very smart for me seeing how I've just published a blog post on a public blog about my endearing man crush. Ya'll won't tell anyone, will you? Maybe I shouldn't post thi....*Blog posted*