Substitute Patriots with Braves and/or Dawgs fan and this is me this week
With that thunderous introduction, allow me to explain why I will be the most annoying, stressed, wide-eyed, nervous, armpit-drenched, bad-hair-day, complete disaster for this week.
The Braves are in serious trouble. In honor of Bobby Cox's final season as manager, concluding what has been a hall of fame career, the Braves have completely squandered what used to be a seven-game lead in the NL East, and is now not only six games behind in that race but is now a half a game behind the Padres of San Diego in the Wild Card race. What was assumed to be a guaranteed postseason-bound team has actually turned into a team full of walking wounded and on-the-brink-mentally players.
I would never hope to end what was a promising season on such a sour note. Least to say, the next and final six games of the season will be played at Turner Field, where the Braves own the best home record in the majors. I, along with a close friend, are privileged enough to lend a helping hand to the Braves organization: We're going to attend the next two games against the Marlins, rounding it all out by attending the final game of the season against the Filthies (Phillies).
As I blogged earlier in the year, I firmly believe I have special ESP powers, which transmit my important, never-before-thought-of commentary and advice directly to Bobby and the players. However, there is the risk of interference with other satellites and the like. So, in order to resolve this tech issue, instead of calling India and speaking with Omar, I'll be sitting in the dugout section of Turner field right next to the Braves dugout so that my signals are loud and clear. And believe me, they need my advice and commentary!
Make that an ice-cold Coke...
I take my responsibility seriously. And would never expect anyone else to fill that position. Unfortunately I am unable to separate my emotions from sports, which explains the first video of this post. My sanity, and physical well-being depend on the Braves pulling through and making the playoffs (We won't even speak of the state of the Georgia Bulldogs.) If all fails and we have no chance, I will need to be admitted to some halfway house for the distressed and obsessed fan. And all pointy objects would need to be removed. I will be posting videos and photos of my attendance, and hopefully I will be able to keep the content clean.............but I doubt it.
3 comments:
Man, you absolutely crack me up!! (By the way, if something horrible happens, can I bring my red stilletos in December? Now THAT's a video for Facebook!)
I have every confidence that Bobby Cox will be paying full attention to your suggestions and that all will be well. If not, then we'll get a rain barrel to dump you in when you start 'buh-buh-buh-ing'.
Just don't cry. Paul will make you walk home.
:-)
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