Baseball Impotence

Interesting blog title, eh?

As I say in many of my blog posts, I say what I will always say to begin my weekly addicts meeting: Hi, my name is BJ VerHoef, and I am addicted to Braves baseball. No surprise, right? Well, as mentioned in earlier posts, when they do bad, I do bad. I am impatient, irritable, depressed, saddened, and most definitely heartbroken.

Anyone who has been keeping track of baseball will not have trouble figuring out why the past two weeks have been especially hard for me. Let me throw out in the blogosphere some alarming stats put up by my beloved Braves:

• The Braves have scored 54 runs in 16 games. Breaking this stat down further, we find that nine of those runs came in one game against Colorado. The rest of those runs, 45, have been scored over a 15 game stretch. Broken down further? That is three per game. And with the likes of the Rockies, the Phillies and the like, that run tally will not win you games.


• They're hitting .194 in the past seven games, only scoring 14 runs. Six out of those seven games they didn't hit a single homer. In the other game, they hit three, coming in the ninth and tenth innings, miraculously saving a game where they were again horrendous in hitting.


• Braves starting pitching has held opposing teams to three runs or less in six of the last seven games, at least. The Braves even lost a game last night when the Mets scored only one run in the game on an infield error, a game shortened to six innings by weather. Our pitcher, Hanson, struck out eight in six innings, dominating the Mets hitters.

Ok, enough stats now. Suffice it to say, the Braves are currently in a five-game losing streak. They are in last place in their division, though down by only three games, and are playing horribly defensively, committing more errors in their last series (8) than scoring runs (3).

I'm a big boy now, so I won't admit I've cried.....but my outlook on life has been bleak to say the least.

Substitute the sports t-shirt and the team and you've got me at night...

To tie this in to my blog title, and hopefully not giving too much information on impotence, if only there was a pill for the Braves to take in order to achieve.....runs-batted in! If only by getting a prescription by the team trainer for a little blue pill, the Braves could consistently sustain....long, run-scoring games. If only the Braves could score more....ha!

Grow up? I certainly will at some point. As I write this post, the Braves are leading the Cardinals 3-0, and seem to be capitalizing on run-scoring opportunities. Perhaps this will be the beginning of bigger and better things. If not, I will have to pull out my Braves rally cap that communicates directly with the players and coach, which is something along the lines of this:

I someday hope this will be the reaction of every Braves player. Baseball impotence is tough to deal with, and hard to shake. But taking baseballl enhancements will improve the performance of most baseball teams. Results may vary, and certain side-effects may be nausea, vomiting, indigestion, diarrhea, migraine, sleep-loss, gas, fainting, and double-vision. These players also should stop use and seek their doctor if scoring doesn't increase after four hours....